Music to Experience Existential Horrors to

Born into a religious cult and living in the middle of nowhere, Marie still goes to a public school, not only for her parents to make her seem “normal”, but to also potentially get new recruits in the form of her convincing other kids to get parents to join. She's socially anxious and shy so that doesn't really work, but she's one of the most obedient children and the goal of making her seem normal was the main reason for sending her out.

Echoes of Fading Illusions, Twist the Knife

One of her friends gives her a phone and a cell plan through her friend's parents at the age of 16, and slowly she begins to realize what she's going through isn't normal. 4 months before her 18th birthday, it fully clicks and she internally makes plans to run away on her birthday. 2 months before her birthday she is s*xually ab*sed by a higher member. After confiding in her parents over what happened, she is gaslit and told she is lying. They force her into silence.

Cracks in the Window

Through the internet during all of this, not one specific event but over the course of the 2 years of having internet, she realizes what being non-binary is, and how that aligns with how she sees herself, while at the same time knowing that if she told her family, everything would be so much worse.

Moving Out, best4u

Finally, at the age of 18, she runs. She didn't own many belongings, so it wasn't hard. She is now living with her friend. She gets a part time job and eventually is able to live in a small apartment. In the safety of moving out, she socially transitions, but her family's transphobic rhetoric kicks in, whilst still guilting and blaming her about the events detailed previously.

Holy Roller, Live Laugh Love

Throughout this, her family persistently tries to contact her and convince her that she is making a mistake and using the cult to try and reel her in. Meanwhile, she is learning how to be free and do whatever she wants and externally puts on a facade of “I’m fine, fuck everyone who wronged me, I’m a free person.”

permanent dependency, verticillium, anti lovesick boy, discard me

However, her mind constantly goes back and relives her experiences, leaving her to believe she’s constantly tied to the past and can’t escape it. Every night, she experiences nightmares and when she’s alone, she can see what happens every time she blinks. These moments are constants in her life, intertwined with her being.

seethrough

While struggling with her family's lack of acceptance, she still struggles with reliving her past, but everyone from the cult she confided in for help and comfort told her they could "see through her lies" and that she was only trying to slander him, making her anguish worse.

reinitialize, acne patch

Constantly dealing with this, she tries to focus more on her self-care and self-worth in a desperate attempt to make it all stop. In her mind, she has an idea that if she loves herself, her past demons can’t get to her. She assures herself that what's in her past can’t reach her. As part of this, she starts an elaborate skincare routine she finds on the internet.

eyes OPEN!

It doesn’t truly help though, and day after day it doesn’t get better. After months of torment, the internal anguish begins to become too much to bear for her, and every night she pleads with whoever might be out there to make it stop by any means possible. This gets the attention of an omni-potent being who rips through her dimension to get to her.

VISIONS, MANY MIND MIGRAINE

Initially, she just begins seeing and hearing things that aren’t necessarily there, and struggles knowing how to feel about it. She's still in her human body, but her mind is open, leading to many voices of humanity in her head.

GENETIC DISASTER, I AM ALL OF ME

Eventually, with the help of the omnipotent being, she is able to control and make use of everything she's hearing, and start the first steps into shedding her human skin and becoming an omnipotent being herself. As time goes on and she learns more control over her newfound godhood, she's able to shed her human body once and for all.

I SEE VISIONS

After ascending, she hears the same things she does previously, but she’s no longer human and knows how to grasp and deal with it. She can separate her own mind from humanity.

NIGHTMARE OF WORLD'S END, PYROPHILIA, TO BE FORGOTTEN

Her first step after ascension is to metaphorically burn the cult to the ground, having them experience cosmic horrors beyond their understanding. She acts first on the cult leader that ab*sed her. Knowing the cult’s worst fear is being forgotten, the cosmic horror wipes any trace of them from existence.

CHAPTERS

INST + SVP + USTX